FOOL! Ugh…this movie was terrible. It’s barely there plot was merely filler for about 20 dancing montages. A monetarily unsuccessful jazz dancer joins a breakdancing crew and gains noteriety both on the streets and in more “legitimate” circles. By the end of the movie, it didn’t seem as though the jazz dancer had learned much about breakdancing. I guess someone...
“Captain, down around where I come from we dearly love our whiskey. But we don’t drink with another man unless we respect him.” Robert Aldrich does a great job contrasting the borderline all-American propoganda films released during WWII with a tense, dramatic look into the not so perfect day in the life of a poorly headed company. The soldiers under the command of Capt....
#178 Marie Antoinette
Marie Antoinette This is an extrordinarily beautiful film by Sofia Coppola. The soundtrack, mood, and casting is all so strange, but it fits together well.
Salmonberries I think I might just be too dumb to enjoy artsy movies. The fact that I just used the word artsy could be evidence. I just stumbled upon this in Netflix’s Instant Viewing library. I figured since I was reasonably pleased with Bagdad Cafe, another film directed by Percy Adlon, I would probably not hate this. I did. It was slow without the big payoff most slow-moving films...
#176 Cassandra's Dream
Cassandra’s Dream This Woody Allen movie has very untypically Woody Allen-esque. That’s not to say I didn’t like it. It’s just a change. Highly recommended.
#175 Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger
Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger This film wasn’t great, but I didn’t rise from my couch feeling as dumb as I’ve felt with some of the Disney releases I watched as a kid. This is live-action, rough-and-tumble adventure which, for me at least, conjures up more feelings of excitement and imagination than listening to dumbed down versions of Arabs (Aladdin) or singing woodland...
Rambo This movie is a bit cheesy, sure. This cheesiness is made awesome by the raw action and light it brings to a situation that most people don’t know about.
#173 Adios Sabata
Adios Sabata *Part of QT Fest Series* An above-average Spaghetti Western with a great score. I’d like to buy the trilogy, stimulus check.
#172 Tomorrow is Forever
Tomorrow is Forever Claudette Colbert has become one of my favorite actresses. TCM played this today as part of its Memorial Day marathon. It was different from many of the others in that it took place in between wars and was more of a study on the way people change after war. Very heartbreaking.
Deliverance Call me what you will, but I didn’t like this film very much. It moved a little too slow for me.
#170 The Thing
The Thing Wow. I’ve heard how great this movie is from some of my movie nerd friends, but I had no idea. This is a masterpiece of distrust and alien grossness the likes of which has only fueled imitators. Basically, an alien lifeform drops down to earth, more specifically Antarctica, thousands of years ago. Since no humans were around, it allowed itself to be frozen until a more...
#169 The Hellbenders
The Hellbenders *Part of QT Fest Series* The Hellbenders, according to the film, are a group of Confederate soldiers who attempt to revive the Confederacy after Lee’s surrender. They do this through the massacre of Union soldiers who are guarding a large amount of money meant for disposal. The Hellbenders are comprised of a father and his three sons, and a woman brought on to act as...
#168 Batman Begins
Batman Begins This is one of those movies that I’ve forgotten how much I liked. It’s almost too smart to be a summer blockbuster/superhero movie, but it’s also got all of the strong characters, explosions, and gadgets one would expect. Very dark, yet engaging. Christopher Nolan is the man. “The Dark Knight” here we come!
#167 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal...
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull This is pretty much what I expected out of the fourth movie in the Indiana Jones series. It was a lot of fun and brought a fresh, new adventure to what could have been a very worn out idea. I had caught wind of some lukewarm reviews, but I trusted in Lucas and Spielberg to deliver a great summer movie, and they did.
#166 Carry On Emannuelle
Carry On Emannuelle Evidently, this was part of a series of films produced in the UK. I had no idea. This is a sex comedy, but it doesn’t really have enough material to flesh out its running time. It’s not completely dreadful, but there aren’t many redeeming qualities.
#165 High School Hitch Hikers
High School Hitch Hikers I took a shower about five minutes after the credits rolled because I was really grossed out by it. Basically, it was porn…but like…very Eurotrashy. The 1:07 running time seemed like an eternity as it was fueled by too many scenes of clueless, blank looks and awkward gunfights. The direction was inept, the plot made no sense, and not even the sex scenes...
#164 Demon Witch Child
Demon Witch Child Quite possibly one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. It’s basically a rip-off of The Exorcist and The Omen. A young girl becomes possessed by the evil spirit of an old witch who uses her new vessel to lead the local witch coven. How do we know the girl’s really possessed? Well, she sprouts a thin tuft of grey hair, a mole and loses half of her teeth. ...
#163 Diary of the Dead
Diary of the Dead This film surrounds a group of film students who suddenly find themselves caught in an apocalyptic outbreak of zombie-itus. The “leader” of the group decides he will do something “important” and document their journey on his camera. All along the way, people get eaten, zombies spring to life, and these students whine relentlessly. By the end, you kind...
#162 The Children
The Children “Look Ma, No hands!” The Children, if you’re not a b-horror movie fan, could be one of the most offensive films you could see. Let’s start with the plot. It starts out innocent enough, a busload of kids are accidentally subjected to a radioactive gas when a leak develops at the local nuclear power plant. These kids then literally kill their parents with...
#161 I'm not there.
I’m not there. This is a very interesting piece. Near the beginning I started actively hating the film. About 30 minutes in, my mind began to catch up with things and I found myself enveloped, totally taken by the 6 (arguably 7, if you count the narrator) lives of Bob Dylan. What’s so amazing about the film is, of course, the style applied to the storytelling and photographic...
#160 Raiders of the Lost Ark
Raiders of the Lost Ark This is probably my favorite film in the trilogy. It was a homage to the adventure films of the 30s & 40s and Indy is sort of the anti-Bond. He doesn’t need gadgets or smooth talk to accomplish things, just good ol’ American ingenuity and quick wit. Great film.
#159 White Lightning
White Lightning *Part of QT Fest* This is one of the better “rednecks and cars” films I’ve seen. The plot was relatively well-developed, the acting was solid, and the level of excitement was carried through most of the film. It’s probably not for everyone, mind you, if you’re not into movies with long car chase sequences, you should probably count yourself...
#158 The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian I love movies. I mean, I love them to a sickening extent. Prince Caspian is the needle stuck into the side of my fully inflated movie-loving balloon. It deflates things a bit. This movie is, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this, pointlessly violent. That’s not all, it’s just pointless as a whole. A lot of parents of the...
#157 Cry of the Banshee
Cry of the Banshee *Part of the QT Fest Series* Gotta love some crazy Vincent Price.
#156 Speed Racer
Speed Racer The critics didn’t really like this film. The public didn’t pony up the cash to see it. I liked it though. The candy-colored flash and pizaz add to an admittedly thin storyline. I liked it because the film seemed to be completely comfortable in this assertion. I would’ve liked to see it in IMAX, though. Too bad I live in the middle of an IMAX-less land.
Mandinga That is probably the only frame of “Mandinga” I can show you without making you uneasy with inappropriateness. Really. As if making a slavesploitation film wasn’t bad enough, the whole thing was incredibly racist and sexually explicit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really open-minded when it comes to film, but his is ridiculous. This film is pure trash.
#154 Three Tough Guys
Three Tough Guys Man, where did they find the guy to do voiceovers in all of those grindhouse trailers? Turns out the three tough guys aren’t all on the same team. Isaac Hayes and “The Preacher Man” Lino Ventura are trying to track down the third tough guy in the film, Fred Williamson as Joe Snake. The film was so-so overall. It was Hayes’s soundtrack that kept me...
#153 The Squid and the Whale
The Squid and the Whale
#152 Don't Go in the House
Don’t Go in The House *Part of QT Fest Series* Wow. Seems like I’ve gotten behind on this recently. School has come to an end for the semester and I should have oodles of extra time, but a lack of cash has required me to take on more hours at the ol’ 8-to-4:30. This movie was pretty much crap, but with some disturbing moments. Seeing people burned alive is never fun,...
#151 The Swinging Cheerleaders
The Swinging Cheerleaders *Part of the QT Fest Series* Not as much fun or camp as “Revenge of the Cheerleaders.”
#150 Secret Agent
Secret Agent The clip above is one of the many times we see Peter Lorre introduce himself in the Hitchcock thriller Secret Agent. Lorre is one of my favorite character actors and has made more than 116 television and film appearances. Characters based on him are seen in cartoons. Such a great guy. He puts in a great performance here as the likable lush, “The General.”
#149 Iron Man
Yeah, I saw Iron Man again. Jealous?
#148 Dirty Mary Crazy Larry
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry *Part of the QT Fest Series* Note to Self: Find that theme song somewhere. There isn’t much that is actually great about this movie if taken separately. The dialogue is stilted and near moronic, so is the plot, but those chase scenes are something special. This film features one of my favorite muscle cars in one of my least favorite colors: the lime green 1969...
#147 Iron Man
Iron Man This is a better than average superhero movie. What I liked most about it is that it fleshed out the main character without resulting to a bunch of whiny sentimentalism (I’m looking at you Spiderman). Tony Stark is nearly unapologetic in who he is and doesn’t spend anytime losing sleep over what people think about him. I loved Robert Downey Jr.’s performance here.
#146 Pineapple Express
Pineapple Express. That’s right folks, I caught what could prove to be one of the hottest tickets this year to the Pineapple Express. Over 7,000 people tried to get in, and I was one of the lucky 235. Like I’ve mentioned before, this movie won’t come out until August, so you’ll just have to keep what I’m saying bouncing around in the ol’ gulliver until then....
#145 The 39 Steps
The 39 Steps This is my second favorite Hitchcock film ever. My first favorite? North by Northwest. What I love here is the usual Hitchcocktail of Humor, mystery, and suspense. Robert Donat also puts in an outstanding performance as a man caught in a bad situation he doesn’t even know how he got into. This was probably my 6th or 7th viewing in the past few years.
Summer Movie Guide: August
1st Choke This is the latest Chuck Palahniuk adaptation. Sam Rockwell stars as a historical reenactor who spends his free time pretending to choke in restaurants, getting people to save him, and cashing in on their kindness. Ah, he also attends sex addicts’ meetings. What a swell guy. 8th Pineapple Express This is the film I’m seeing tomorrow (May 3). That’s three months...
Summer Movie Guide: July
More movies from this summer, specifically July. July 2nd Hancock This is a pretty interesting project for Will Smith. Summer has long been the season for big dumb superhero movies, and Hancock is the angry stepchild of the genre. Imagine how a city might respond when they realize their resident superhero might have saved them, but all of those crumbling buildings and derailed public...
Summer Movie Guide: June
Once again, not every movie, but every movie that has the possibility to rock. 13th The Incredible Hulk It seems kind of weird that the Hulk franchise would be getting a do over only 5 years after it started, but hey, the other one was terrible, so I guess they’re warranted in their decision. Most of the press surrounding this film has been Edward Norton’s (who plays the title role)...
Summer Movie Guide: May
This isn’t every movie that will come out this summer, but it is a compilation of those you should try getting around to seeing. Summer is typically the season when we see a lot of big budget action films whose aim is to draw in all of those school-freed young men who’ve got dollars just itching to get out of their pockets. This summer isn’t really much different. Here are the...
#144 Bounty Man
Bounty Man This is an extremely lame made for TV movie from 1972. The main failure here is just laziness. The director seemed to rely on costumes, cheesy speech, and desert to create the film’s atmosphere. There wasn’t a whole ton of thought behind developing characters who were both believeable and compelling. This thing nearly put me to sleep. If you decide to sit through this...